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Joke of the Day

"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."

"*genie appears* I wish I was rich! GRANTED! YOU USED TO BE RICH ok!wait what? FOR YOUR SECOND WISH, CONSIDER HAVING PAID ATTENTION IN CLASS"

"I've been on Ashley Madison for over a year now. About time I got fucked."

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But I don't know how they got in there."

"I wanna die by getting stuck my lightning Shocking, I know."

"I'm not rich like Jack don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too but what was that you said about Martin !"

"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ."

"How do you spot the violent kids at the circus? They go straight for the juggler."

"I saw a fight between two Mobius strips It was a little one sided (One of them had a Klein bottle)"

"Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads"