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Joke of the Day

"I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work. EDIT: damn I wish I got karma for this post."

"Anybody taking bath in Milk.. ""Why do you take baths in milk?"" ""I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."""

"daniel radcliffe's family were just known as the cliffe's until his great grandfather invented the kick flip"

"Me: I am sad, we don't have any cookie crumble for my ice cream. Wife: lots of things make me sad, like being married to a giant man baby"

"Adam gave Sally 3 flowers and 1 stuffed animal. Kristen gave Sally 5 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? cancer."

"How many Hipster's does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, just some number you've probably never heard of."

"What's the secret ingredient in Bush's Baked Beams? Jetfuel."

"How do you disappoint a redditor? [removed]"

"When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing ""train is coming, train is coming""... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line."

"My estranged father bought me a telescope for Christmas We're a lot closer now."