23011

Joke of the Day

"Me: I am sad, we don't have any cookie crumble for my ice cream. Wife: lots of things make me sad, like being married to a giant man baby"

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it."

"Told a girl to text me when she got home. She must be homeless."

"I'm going door-to-door to promote my new gym. It's called ""Jehovah's Fitness"""

"I found a bunch of money I didn't know I had while cleaning for company... ...it was like Christmas."

"Apparently I'm ""an insensitive arsehole"" for referring to my girlfriend's allergic reaction to a box of chocolates (and subsequent fit) as a ""truffle shuffle""..."

"I would tell the one about Jonestown.. But the punch line is too long"

"What does R. Kelly tell little girls on Halloween? Urine for a treat!"

"Why do cannibals like doing puzzles? Because it reminds them of how they eat One piece at a time"

"What do you call a fat guy, from New Orleans, that never tells the truth? A jambo-laya. Thanks for coming out, I'll be here till Thursday."