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Joke of the Day

"I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick. ""Just how sick are you?"" he said. ""well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough"""

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"The neighbors are still looking for their dog. That shit was good"
"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't go apeshit and stalk me for years when I put a couple of loads in it."
"What is worse than a dude shooting cum on your floor? A dude farting cum on your floor."
"Once you throw a paper airplane it's no longer..... Stationary. Credit: u/Breeze_In_ The _ Trees"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss! *credit goes to my brother-in-law who recently told me that one"
"What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote."
"What was Pablo Escobar's favourite pool party game? Narco Polo."
"I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Athena ! Athena who ? Athena reindeer landing on your roof !"