147052
Joke of the Day
"What are green and smell like pork? Kermit's fingers"
Next Joke
"""I don't follow her so whatever you do, don't LIKE one of her Instagram photos or she'll know we're looking at them."" -Why 2015 is confusing"
"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all of the signs were there."
"Jared Fogle gets sentenced 15 1/2 years in prison At least he'll still be able to enjoy footlongs"
"""Huh?"" - Wonder Woman"
"People I live with are hiding my shit. The two most effective hiding places to date: 1) out in the open 2) where I last left it"
"The orgy I hosted last night was a real letdown. Nobody came."
"If I learned anything from my childhood, its that if you cry long enough, your dead hamster will be reborn as a rabbit"
"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dr. Dre"
"If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me :("