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Joke of the Day

"Why is the story of Jesus the longest porn in history? Because 2000 years after he rose again, everyone is still waiting for the second coming."

"What did the chemist say when he caught his brother stealing halogens? Bro, mine"

"I don't get Trump's hate on Mexicans... ... They'll chant ""You, ese!"" just as well as any other person in this country!"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It was okay, but had no atmosphere."

"What did one crab say to the other? ""Damn this bitch is nasty!"""

"Whats worse, being a vegan inmate or non vegan? Or non vegan inmate* Depends on whether you want to eat meat or toss salad."

"Items that are made from velcro... Are such a rip-off."

"How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes nine years."

"What's better than roses on the piano ? Tulips on the organ."

"Optimus Prime: so it's settled. I'll be a huge cool truck, Bumblebee you're a camaro. Any questions? [Dan the station wagon raises his hand]"