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Joke of the Day

"I asked to switch seats because there was a god damn SCREAMING infant next to me, and I couldn't sleep. They told me no. Apparently you're not allowed to move away from your own child."

Next Joke
 
"Police arrested two kids yesterday. one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."
"My dick is a joke Nobody's ever seen it coming."
"Where does the army keep fish? In a tank."
"A banana went to see the doctor and was like ""doc I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just not peeling well"""
"A reasonably attractive girl applied for a modelling job in a glamour magazine She was a candid eight."
"I'm a heavy sleeper... Also, a heavy awaker... Okay, I'm fat."
"I saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching Genders."
"Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read"
"Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. ""We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."""