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Joke of the Day

"I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic."

"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."

"What does the Scottish man say after love making? I love ewe!"

"""Life"" is like a box of chocolates: they're both food that come in boxes"

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"

"Little girls and fish Why do little girls put fishes down their pants? So the can smell like big girls!"

"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"

"What did Noah do with all the poop? Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here: http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/240xyy/brilliant_neil_degrasse_tyson_quote/ch2kcxl"

"Trump should never become president. I don't to wait 4 more years for the next Celebrity Apprentice."

"what did the man say when he couldn't get frea with his dog? oops, forgot the ky"