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Joke of the Day

"My friend is anti-semantic... He never writes anymore edit: (semantic refers to words for those who don't get it.)"

"A girl walks to his boyfriend and says.... I have some good news and some bad news, and I'm gonna tell you both at the same time. Amongst all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."

"Did you hear about the guys who snorted curry powder instead of cocaine? One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma."

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about."

"I'm getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I've been to in the last week that's had ""insufficient funds""."

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"What is white and lies in the grass? A shleep."

"Whatever you do, always give 100% Unless you're donating blood"