146855
Joke of the Day
"This Joke is so Top Secret... Iii iiiiiiiii ii Iiii Iiii Ii Ii Ii III. The punchline is Eyes Only"
Next Joke
"If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people."
"It doesn't matter if you come third in the water olympics... All dives matter."
"I respect the moon, it controls two of our most precious elements, oceans and wolves."
"To all new iPad owners. When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment."
"I ate pelican today Never again. The bill was massive."
"A man goes to a psychiatrist... ...and he's holding a duck by the belly. The psychiatrist asks, ""Can I help you?"" The guy responds, ""Idunno. I've just been feeling down."""
"Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise."
"The U.S Election is Kind of Like an Attractive Bisexual Because whether they go with a man or a woman, you know they're fucked."
"Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more. Why not? He lost his balance."