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Joke of the Day

"How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend? Marriage, you wanna?"

"Did you hear that Jim Carrey lost his left arm in a horrific accident? I guess that makes him all-righty then."

"What version of windows does Jesus use? XP Edit: [Explanation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chi_Rho)"

"What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."

"Tired of my wife saying I have no feelings. Do I not cry if you turn off Football? Do I not pout when I can't find good porn? I have layers."

"People who cough loudly don't go to the doctor... They go to the cinemas."

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend? ""IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"""

"Why can't lions ever conquer the world? Because the pride comes before the fall."