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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? The gun only has one trigger! -Clorox Bleach"

"Why do children cry when they find out Santa isn't real? They figured out who has been drinking their milk and eating the cookies!"

"so embarrassing when u think u nailed the big interview and it turns out he was interviewing the guy behind u the whole time"

"What did the Terminator say when he decided to take up piano? I'll be bach."

"I made a promise to a dying friend... ...that I'd stop making commitments."

"How did Donald Trump know he had an STD? Because he was fired"

"it is a joyous occasion when the lava in my lava lamp randomly forms a perfect dick and balls"

"robber: give me the money! *points gun at cashier* cashier: wait thats just a blow dryer nervous snowman patron: please just do as he says!"

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."

"Go to a suburban neighborhood, find the meanest mom with the biggest glass of white wine, and bring her to negotiate your new car purchase."