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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce? Chicken Caesar Salad"

"Hell yeah I want your website to play music without warning or a mute button!"

"Yo Mama so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!"

"As a kid, I'd pull a girl's hair to let her know I liked her, but now that I'm older & wiser I simply hit her with my car."

"Philippe Petit walked between the twin towers in 1974, big deal, I can do that today with no training. Just made that up, I hope it's not too soon."

"What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ? He had to get a new goat !"

"I bet rocket scientists are conceited bastards. ""YOU CALL THIS A MARTINI? THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE DAMMIT! I WOULD KNOW!"""

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose but you might not be able to do either if your hands are severely disfigured."

"I just broke up with a hoarder... I'm the only thing she could get rid of"

"If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die."