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Joke of the Day

"Philippe Petit walked between the twin towers in 1974, big deal, I can do that today with no training. Just made that up, I hope it's not too soon."

"What's the difference between Jack Daniel's and General Custer? Jack Daniel's is still killing indians."

"What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards? A woman in her place..."

"Are you fu*** crazy? A squirrel with a nut having sex. Another squirrel sees her and asks: ""Are you fucking crazy?"" ""No, I'm fucking nuts!"""

"What does the sun and cleavage have in common? You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses."

"You can't even? That's odd."

"What did Chuck Norris told his father when he left home for college? You are the man of the house now."

"Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic."

"I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Christmas It's a great stocking-filler."

"Critics are raving about Mud. ""It's like dirt but wet"" says one. ""Oh god it's in my eyes"" says another"