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Joke of the Day

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose but you might not be able to do either if your hands are severely disfigured."

"I walked into a bar tonight carrying some jumper cables... Bartender told me not to start any shit in here!"

"What do you get when you combine human DNA with a goats? kicked out of the petting zoo..."

"What does all pirate music have in common? It's all played in the high C's."

"There was this ancient pagan ritual where they would hit the ground with sticks and shout out. Today we call it golf."

"Scientists have spliced the DNA of a human with a sea cow. Oh, the humanatee."

"I thought my friend was a little camp... ...but he's just two tents."

"Why did the guy get aroused by the highway? Because there were lots of turn ons."

"I still enjoy sex at 68. I only live at number 66 - it's no distance."

"Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor? because Sam sung better than him"