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Joke of the Day
"Why do college frat boys drink before bathing? Buds before suds, bro."
Next Joke
"You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok."
"NIETZSCHE: god is dead! he remains dead! and we have killed him! ME AS NIETZSCHE'S LAWYER: your honour we're gonna need a recess"
"Romantic subtweets are like watching a couple kissing in a restaurant. We're all very happy for you but it still makes us want to vomit."
"*wife stares at me* *I stare at her* *she frowns* *I smile* ""You didn't notice my new-"" ""NICE HAIRCUT AND GLASSES."" ""Dress."""
"What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes waiting at a four way stop."
"'I can't find my dollar bill' Jane sobbed. 'Don't worry' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't go very far today.'"
"I hate these supposedly ""funny t-shirts"". Just the other day I saw one which on the front said ""I'm not gay..."" and on the back said ""but my boyfriend is"". So I asked my girlfriend to take it off."
"some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor"
"Damn shame some of ya'll will get on twitter to say Goodmorning before even brushing your teeth. #mustymouthtweet"