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Joke of the Day

"My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called ""Steak Medium Rare"""

"What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces? Natural logs."

"I'm on Twitter because my family is on Facebook."

"You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly."

"Would you tell me your street address, please? To which the Roman replied ""I Wood"" because he lived in the 1st house on Wood st."

"I've been staring at this bench press for 3 days now and I feel exactly the same. This ""Weight Watchers"" shit is a hoax."

"Robin Williams: *Goes for hi-five* C'mon man, don't leave me hanging."

"My Mom asked me to help her sign up to Twitter so I did and she's really enjoying Google Plus."

"Why did the boy look at each and every one of the animal crackers? Because his mother told him not to eat them if the ""seal"" was broken. Credits to my school principal"

"Father: *places hand on shoulder* My son..... *Son: Yes father? *Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found! editted for format, which I suck at apparently"