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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. -not an original, just wanted to share."

"What do you call the mean and dusty winds of the desert? Darude Sandstorm"

"Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy."

"*cops finds my loose floorboard* Cop: What's under here... *they discover a lifetime supply of hot pockets* Me: I'd like my lawyer now."

"Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"WIFE: what's the name of that girl you work with? ME: which girl? WIFE: the pretty one ME: I feel like this is a trap"

"Just like my refrigerator... I open Reddit, just to be disappointed and close it."

"That moment when your crush is absent, and you wasted your time going to school."

"LIKE if you've already broke one of your New Year's Resolutions."

"""i cnat believe this!"" he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. ""i would expect this from the others but not u"" he says to 1 specific bee"