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Joke of the Day

"*gives gf a small gift wrapped box* ""aww what's this, youre so sweet"" *opens it* ""wait, is this my toothbrush?"" YOU DONT LIVE HERE KAREN"

"As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back"""

"How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?"

"I've got a new job in a biscuit factory. So far I've made a packet."

"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow Mines made of mammary foam"

"2 Goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!"

"Which class the The Flash hated the most while in college? Physics..."

"The best part of the Titanic is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's all like, 'I'll never let go' and then she lets go."

"If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question"