145817
Joke of the Day
"How does Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. Edit: JK rolling."
Next Joke
"Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend."
"I had some extra money laying around I was going to invest in quick sand... ...but the deal fell through."
"What do you call a cat sitting on the edge of a cliff? A precipuss."
"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."
"What kind of shoes do thieves wear? Sneakers."
"HER: [she puts her hand down my pants] mm what do we have in here ME: [sweatin because thats where I keep my chicken mcnugget stash] nothin"
"President Trump! What about the aliens from space? We need a ROOF!"
"What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics? Radicals. He loved finding the ""root"" of problems..."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away. and pepper-spray keeps the blacks at bay!"