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Joke of the Day

"What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics? Radicals. He loved finding the ""root"" of problems..."

"I feel really bad about being at this girl's house last night. I came in seconds. Besides that, what kind of shitty name is that for a cat?"

"My grandmother would roll over. My grandmother would roll over in her trench if she knew how much I spent on her funeral."

"Customer: Why doesn't your menu list prices? Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does."

"Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time !"

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it."

"What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert? Propheteroles"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"

"Have you heard about that new movie, ""The Homophobic Preacher""? Hasn't come out yet."

"We need a new name for the Bible. How about: DIY Salvation"