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Joke of the Day

"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."

"Lou Gehrig... ... died from Lou Gehrig's disease. What are the chances of that?"

"Mary had a little lamb. The doctor fainted."

"Turned off autocorrect and I've never been happyer."

"Did you know Brian Welch, the former drummer of Korn opened up an Orphanage in India? ...and you should have seen the look on those little orphans' faces when they heard korn was coming!"

"I ate the last piece of flan that my wife and I have been fighting over I won the custardy battle."

"Did you hear about the pirate who wanted to cut hair for a living? He moved to the barbery coast."

"When Piaget studies children he becomes a well known name. When I study children I get escorted out of my local park."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"