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Joke of the Day

"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."

"I wish my condoms had little jokes on them, instead of in them."

"A Valentine's Day Poem for your Sweetheart Roses are red, Violets are blue, For Valentine's Day, I would like to sodomize you."

"There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where they can take it back. Win-win."

"Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was the dog said nothing."

"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."

"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"What happened to the girl who went fishing with a group of men? She returned home with a red snapper."

"YOLO doesn't work for cats."

"You ever been to the butcher with the chastity fetish? Say what you will about the lifestyle, but his meat simply can't be beat."