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Joke of the Day
"I went to get myself a glass of punch but..."
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"Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago."
"My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!"
"What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget? Tom Cruise"
"I had to Seymour Hoffman at the gas station today You know, Philip?"
"A Jewish boy asks his father for one dollar... ...and his dad responds, ""Fifty cents? What do you need twenty-five cents for?"""
"Everything is funnier... Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh. *holds a giggle in* [http://minestatus.co/post.php?id=630]"
"10 minutes into the work day and this subreddit is like the frozen section at the butcher shop. There are no fresh links."
"What does a DrugLord and a TimeLord have in common... They both have two hearts, but one keeps his spare in a cooler."
"you're all like ""haha interpretive dance what a humorous concept"" until you see a professional do it then you shit yourself with wonder"