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Joke of the Day

"I have zero empathy for sociopaths. But to be fair, they don't have any for me, either."

"I will make a book called Math for dummies and I'll sell 1 for 10 dollars or 2 for 30."

"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on the horse... Would you help your uncle jack off the horse?"

"If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom."

"In the book I'm currently reading, there's a section that talks about the vagina. It's my favourite passage."

"Can we hold off on finding a cure for cancer for a minute and focus on getting the timing right on automatic faucets in public restrooms?"

"Whats the difference between Sarah Palins mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina"

"You know what I hate? Indian givers... ..no wait, I take that back."

"(Mayday) PILOT: I didn't go thru 9 years of flight school to crash ME: *relieved* Thank G- P: I went through 0, so the crash will make sense"

"What did the man without a voicebox say to the person next to him?"