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Joke of the Day

"If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom."

"Why are so many men suddenly curious who my father is right in the middle of our lovemaking?"

"What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show? A magic show is full of **cunning stunts**"

"I thought I caught a snorlax on pokemon go turns out i was on tinder"

"Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while."

"There are two types of people Those who use false dichotomies, and those who don't."

"A spice belt for chefs Might be a waist of thyme"

"My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher."

"Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president? So women don't get elected."

"How many white cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None...he fell"