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Joke of the Day

"Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again."

"Brazil is getting slaughtered I can't take it an Neymar"

"Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times."

"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."

"Some people say telling a joke about chavs is as bad as racism Nonsense chavs aren't a race. They're a subspecies"

"*looks up from pestle and mortar ""Powdering this baby is HARD!"""

"Happy Birthday, black Jesus."

"I'm wearing that smile you gave me "

"A german walks into a library and asks for a book on war The librarian replies ""No mate, you'll lose it."

"Husband said, ""If you were really THAT funny you wouldn't have to always say COME ON, THAT WAS FUNNY."" So now I have a tombstone to select"