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Joke of the Day

"What's 5,000 lbs and sexually confused? A Bi-noceros"

"How did Wendy die? The baconator"

"What do you call a ghost detective? An Inspectre"

"My wife just got breast implants made out of oak I don't think I could do that, I think it'd hurt, wooden tit?"

"Do not, under any circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"Boss: Staff meeting at 3:00. Me: I can't come, I'm allergic. Boss: But we're not serving food. Me: ... yeah now I really can't come."

"i wonder if china has fancy plates called america"

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"My dad found an Altoid tin in his attic and told me it was worth over $400. He said it was worth so much because it was in mint condition."

"What type of people can you not stand? People in wheelchairs"