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Joke of the Day

"My dad found an Altoid tin in his attic and told me it was worth over $400. He said it was worth so much because it was in mint condition."

"I just bought some ""ribbed cotton tank t-shirts"" at WalMart. You'd think that'd be the one place on earth they'd call them wifebeaters."

"A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. ""Hey kid,"" he shouted. ""Why don't you go outside and play?"""

"An American and a Muslim are at a bar. Who got there first? The drone."

"My friend asked me how it felt to be able to say that i was married I said that ""It has a nice ring to it"""

"What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway across"

"To all the women who only date assholes, nice guys are better in bed. They always finish last."

"Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo."

"I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room."

"playboy: ""apparently they just read it for the articles"" [takes out all nude women] every man on earth: ""well this has back-fired massively"""