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Joke of the Day

"What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram? Llamaste."

"Why did the zookeeper take a piss on the seel? He couldn't hold it."

"Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!"

"My first language is condescension. You wouldn't understand it."

"I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!"

"""You stop crying or I'll give you something to laugh about!"" - clown parents"

"TOP STORY: Do websites create articles with lists and arbitrary numbers to get you to click through? Here are 15 examples you wont believe"

"[day 1] hello, world [day 2] bit less wobbly today [day 7] making other deer friends. getting funny looks tho [day 26] turns out i'm a hippo"

"Where can you buy freshly cut meats and cheeses while a British woman sings to you Adele-i"

"I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner."