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Joke of the Day

"TOP STORY: Do websites create articles with lists and arbitrary numbers to get you to click through? Here are 15 examples you wont believe"

"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"

"Moratorium on the word ""Awkward."" We're all awkward. We fart when we don't want to and that guy/gal over there is cooler. Get over it."

"I don't WANT new people to get murdered but I want Investigation Discovery to always have new material."

"I'd stage an angry protest against Scott Brown & the death of health care reform, but I can't afford to get hurt."

"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"

"How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."

"God Gave Man a penis and a brain... But not enough blood to use both at the same time"

"I have sex almost every day! Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday..."

"What is black and white and is nearest to South America O-Rio"