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Joke of the Day
"Alcohol activates the ""we need to take pictures now!"" center of your brain."
Next Joke
"Cleavage: The best popcorn catcher."
"*jk rowling wakes up* what's today's tweet *spins large bingo cage* hagrid... is... pansexual and... he later joined isis"
"Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building? ...He couldn't fit in the elevator."
"An old guy with a horrible toupee stopped me in the parking lot to tell me this random joke...made me crack up. How do you get down from an elephant?? YOU DON'T! You get down from a goose!!"
"My nickname in the North Pole is 'comma' I had sex with Santa's wife and separated the clauses"
"Why can't Nietzsche use pencils? Because they're all pointless"
"Is this why we're in a recession? Because babies were trading our stocks?"
"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""
"[son hands me a picture he painted a school] That's great. Let's just put that in the 'maybe has epilepsy' pile."