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Joke of the Day

"A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: ""You're what?!?"""

"I got catcalled by the garbagemen outside my house this morning... They know a good piece of trash when they see one."

"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on a roof Would you help your Uncle Jack off?"

"I think the only job requirement you need to become a TSA agent, is to know how to do a really good eye roll while you're chewing gum."

"Dark humour is like food. Not everyone gets it"

"oh these 2 bleeding dots on my neck? uhhh no i'm not a vampire, some crazy dude stabbed me with 2 pens. hey can you toss me a bloodweiser ;)"

"Job interview: ""what would you say is your biggest achievement is to date"" ""I once wore a hat to bed and it was still on in the morning"""

"Why not just say you're feeling thargic, don't be all French about it"

"What is your favourite variable? I'm not sure, It's always changing."

"When I Die When I die, I want my last words to be ""I left a million dollars under the..."""