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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a horomone? You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )"

"Just did a spot on imitation of a new born calf while trying to gracefully exit a hammock."

"""But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' "" Genesis 19:26"

"person: what is your dog's name me: he won't say"

"Failed biology because apparently the answer to ""what is commonly found in cells?"" Isn't ""Blacks and Mexicans"""

"They say a dog is man's best friend... but honestly, even my worst enemy wouldn't stare me dead in the eye while taking a shit in my living room."

"What do you get when American pioneers develop a video game? They manifest Destiny"

"What did the prostitute say after fucking Jesus? Nailed it!"

"Water is good for you? I call bullshit. My phone drank some one time and guess what? IT DIED!"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!"