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Joke of the Day
"Why is a duck when it's round? Because the farther it flies, the fewer."
Next Joke
"Apparently the Japanese made a pie chart showing how afraid they are of Godzilla... then one of them made it their national flag."
"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."
"A blind man walks into the bar... And the table... And the chair..."
"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel.."
"What do you call a censored DMX song? A really good instrumental"
"I need an ex-boyfriend so I have something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning."
"A new study says vegetarians die younger than smokers, on average, so don't smoke your vegetables..."
"suicide bombing class... Welcome to Suicide Bombing Class 101. Listen carefully because i'm only going to say this once."
"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"