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Joke of the Day

"Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes."

"Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend."

"People who say, ""nothing could ever tear us apart"", must not know about sharks."

"Everyone is a genius until they try to use their friend's microwave."

"Walking dead spoiler alert. There are zombies and they like to try & eat people but the people are like ""nuh uh zombie, we don't want that"""

"The 2016 US Presidential Election That's it. That's the entire fucking joke. Edit: Woke up to hundreds of messages and FP status. Damn. Thanks, folks! And thanks for the gold!"

"My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain."

"The time traveler made a poor taste gag about the atrocities of World War 3..... Everyone agreed, it was too soon."

"a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?"

"Reeva Steenkamp deserved to be shot she shouldn't have been using the disabled toilet. Jimmy Carr."