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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? I may take a while to get hard, I just got laid."

"[court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record"

"[interrogation] ""Where were you on the night of the 5th?"" ""Dealing drugs."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."""

"Pokemon go in Brazil I heard Pokemon Go players in Brazil can catch an exclusive Pokemon... the Zikachu"

"What's so good about living in Switzerland? Not sure but the flag's a big plus."

"What happens when you drop a frying pan on a cake You get a pancake"

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Either have they."

"What's the best way to cure seasonal depression? Suicide. -A bit of black humor for black friday"

"My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food."

"Why do women wear striped bras? Because it's a ZEBRA."