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Joke of the Day

"How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant? Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious..."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious. That Israeli how he does it."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? Not falling for that one again."

"Can February march? No, But April May."

"Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer."

"Height of noise Two skeletons having sex on a tin roof and using a can for a condom"

"On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump"

"Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive."

"Running through a campground is impossible. You can only ran, because it's past tents."

"So I went over to my uncle with a lisp's house He asked me ""hey d-do you w-w-want a d-d-dee-dee-d-d-d-deep-deep-d-deeeeeep freezer?"" I replied: ""Noo thanks buddy that's too deep for me"" [EDIT] Fuck."