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Joke of the Day

"I wanna work for a company where if you pass the drug test you get fired."

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes!"

"My girl stayed true and my dog didn't die, I'm sober ~no country song ever."

"Did you hear about the COW that got a promotion? She was out standing in her field. **Edited for political correctness."

"Two men are running and they pass a bar Eventually the get tired, and stop. They then agree that they need more than two people on their relay team."

"How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer."

"A Limerick There once was a man from the Styx Who liked to write Limericks But he failed at the sport Because he wrote them too short"

"This fly I just killed in my apartment is more talented than every celebrity that tweets on this fucking site."

"TIL it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom. But not twice."

"In response to McDonald's pay with hugs campaign, Nationwide will allow you to pay for insurance with DEATH."