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Joke of the Day

"Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird's head and that bird just kept right on eating. I've never before felt this close to nature."

"Yeah... I think golf jokes are really sub-par."

"There's panic and then there's can't-find-your-tampon-string-panic."

"Why do ducks nod their head when they walk? They're listening to duckstep!"

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"History We Live in Generation where.. . . ""Deleting History is more important than Creating History"" :-D"

"How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook? She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece."

"Why do porn sites have a share to Google+ option? I don't want my friends knowing I use Google+."

"My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious."

"I can't wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me."