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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant."
Next Joke
"You're born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive......"
"Mom thinks I run google :D [Mom thinks I run google - My Funny Mom](http://www.etcpb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Mom-thinks-I-run-google.jpg)"
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean."
"Cleaning out the garage, I found some things I didn't even realize I had. Like a tent, a new printer, and a fourth kid."
"My credit card is like a fat persons scale It's maxed out"
"Chicken and a frog found a book The chicken says ""book book book BOOK!'' The frog responds ''Read it Read it Read it!''"
"I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but.. I haven't seen the two of them in the same room.."
"How does Thor's brother like to party? He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key"
"DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed."