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Joke of the Day

"Why did they spray rose water cologne on Scott Weiland at the funeral home? So he smelled great while dead & bloated."

"Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward Cuz that's how I roll.."

"I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start."

"Did you hear about the french TV show Did you hear about the french TV chat show that only airs on a thursday? Richard and Jeudi"

"Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army? To avoid the draft!"

"What's the difference between fishing and dating? In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk."

"What's a candidates favorite instrument? Trump-et"

"What do you call a voucher for complimentary Chipotle? free coli"

"Don't trust anyone who wants to ""get you out of your comfort zone."" Why would you ever want to leave something called a comfort zone?!"

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"