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Joke of the Day

"Left in the Dark Recently the power in my flat went out for no apparent reason. I told the landlord the problem but they didn't get back to me. They left me in the dark for about a week."

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"Yo girl, are you from UPS? Cause I saw you checkin' out my package."
"Age gets better with wine"
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"Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock... [who's there] Not sally"
"I wonder if they have WiFi in Hell..."
"Was forced to have a threesome with a clown and a grizzly. Just had to grin and bear it."
"A wizard and a vampire walk in to a bar The Wizard says, ""Let me buy you a drink old friend,"" The Vampire says, ""One chicken please!"""
"What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car? Stop beating a dead hearse!"
"What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V? asparagoose"