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Joke of the Day
"I wonder if they have WiFi in Hell..."
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"Have you heard of the artist Jackson Polyp? He could only paint with splatters and he hung out with some real assholes."
"Why don't good golfers cheat? Cause they play the fairway."
"What do you call a Shi Tzu giving a blowjob? Shit Head."
"Pro Tip: Make sure you wear your Fitbit on your dominant hand so you get credit every time you lift an ice cream cone to your mouth."
"I took some pictures of my girlfriend's butt this morning I'm saving them for posteriority."
"My only fitness goal is to be able to lift an adult male, approximately the size of my husband, into the trunk of my car without help."
"Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to ""cheek his paperwork""."
"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""
"What do you call 10 Ethiopians tied together? A raft"