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Joke of the Day

"A wizard and a vampire walk in to a bar The Wizard says, ""Let me buy you a drink old friend,"" The Vampire says, ""One chicken please!"""

"Who's this Rorschach dude? And why is he so good at drawing pictures of my mom beating me?"

"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"

"Why can't you run through camp sites? You can only ran because it's past tents."

"Why are there no casinos in China? They hate Tibet."

"Putin takes over entire world while everybody searches for the missing plane."

"It's international women's day. But apparently my local strip club didn't get the memo. Went there today and all the girls were from my country. No international women at all."

"What does the alcoholic drink when he complains wine (kinda sorry)"

"Me: ""If Americans say 'sidewalk', what do we mean in England?"" My six year old: ""Crab!"""

"If Donald Trump was a communist, instead of saying ""Grab her by the pussy"" he would have said ""Seize the means of reproduction."""