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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a plastic surgeon. That raised a few eyebrows..."

"Your mother is like a brick Flat on both sides and laid by mexicans"

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"I swear, my kids will make me drive them to my own funeral. And then to the mall."

"So I met a woman with 12 boobs... [NSFW] Oh, that joke needs a punchline doesn't tit."

"The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*"

"Did you hear about the woman who couldn't remember if she had sex with Charlie Sheen? At first she wasn't sure, but now she's positive."

"What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson? Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it."

"How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb ."

"Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie? It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs. I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast."