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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the woman who couldn't remember if she had sex with Charlie Sheen? At first she wasn't sure, but now she's positive."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean"

"Why do ants not go to church? Because they are in sects!"

"How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices? I'm not sure yet."

"Why Can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer? Because sometimes, you can get rid of cancer."

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved."

"JOB INTERVIEWER: it says here ur a postmodern deconstructivist...? ME: did ur parents realy name u 'Job'? especialy with a last name like urs?"

"What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution? They put their head into it."

"My sister said she thought it would be cool to be a meme. I told her to run for president."