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Joke of the Day
"I swear, my kids will make me drive them to my own funeral. And then to the mall."
Next Joke
"Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin."
"Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right"
"Clergy A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest asks, ""Want to screw some alter boys?"" And the rabbi responds, ""out of what?"""
"I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines."
"Do you know why the nobles always mistreated their peasants? Because they're all a bunch of vassals."
"If girls didn't exist... ... then life would be a real pain in the ass."
"An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfit fanatic walk into a bar... Who talks more?"
"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."
"My Wife accused me of being immature I told her to get out of my fort"