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Joke of the Day

"Tired of rap songs starting with MC going ""uhuh uhuh...One two one two...Let's do this..."" No. You shoulda been ready when the song started."

"What do Dicks and School have in common There both long and hard unless you are Asian"

"Now that people with zodiac tattoos feel stupid, I'm waiting for China to change its alphabet and indians to start clubs instead of tribes."

"I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out."

"""Of course size matters!"" My girlfriend screamed when I told her how big it was. Who the fuck wants a small pizza?"

"Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq. They're renaming the game to The Sims 5."

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? GayLick"

"I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!"

"I got arrested for following my dream. The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him."

"I asked a Welshman how many sexual partners he had. He started counting but then he fell asleep."