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Joke of the Day

"There should be a drama series about women trying to figure out their mystery leg bruises."

"I believe every child should be given a chance... ...and that's why if they can guess the number I'm thinking of, I'll let them go..."

"What do girls and parking spaces have in common? All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled"

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm incontinent No time to talk."

"You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication!"

"Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon."

"So this cravat came up to me and started weeping... ...I thought ""I can't *stand* emotional ties"""

"If Bruce Jenner is a woman then Eminem is black. Since when does having boobs make you a woman? If that was the case all women that lost their boobs to breast cancer are now dudes."

"How many Viet Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You don't know? That's right, you *don't* know, because you weren't there, man!"

"Being gay is a choice... like being black, poor, or an amputee. No one really made you go to Iraq"