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Joke of the Day

"A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome ...and call it Touch Downs."

"If you worked for a tarp company your unveiling would be a cover up."

"This Is total BULLSHIT! You can't even find ACME anvils on ebay. THIS IS WHY THE ALIENS DON'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY!"

"Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?"

"What did the cannibal have for lunch? Baked beings (beans)."

"What do you call sandpaper on fire? Bernie Sanders"

"Pretty cool how you can turn cotton into delicious candy or a totally comfortable shirt to wear."

"My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean. She's a mail carrier."

"Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get ate twice."

"my hipster wife is on her way to the hospital with severe burns in her mouth because she tried to to eat my lasagna before it was cool"